"The Drugs I Need" by The Austin Lounge Lizards
You've got a [C]headache,
And I've [G]got some strange disease.
Don't worry a[D]bout it!
This pill will [C]set your mind at [G]ease.
It's called Progeni[C]torivox,
And it's [G]made by SquabbMerlCo.
It's a [D]life-enhancing miracle,
But there are [C]some things you should [D]know.
It may cause:
[G]Agitation
[E7]Palpitations
[A7]Excessive [D7]salivation
[G]Constipation
[E7]Male lactation
[A7]Rust-colored [D7]urination
[G]Hallucinations
[G7]Bad vibrations
[C]Mild electric [Cm]shock sensations
[G]But it's [Em]worth
it
[A7]For the [D7]drugs
I [G]need [Em]
[A7] [D7]
My di[Bm]sease may not be fatal,
But [Em]I can ease my fears
By [A7]taking two twelve-dollar pills
Each [D7]day for fifty years.
They've spent [Bm]billions to convince
me,
So [Em]now I realize
Pro[A7]genitorivox beats [D7]diet
and exercise.
I've got in[C]surance.
At [G]least for now, I do.
And [D]if I bought generic,
It would [C]cut my costs in [G]two.
But I *want* Progeni[C]torivox
'Cause I [G]saw it on TV.
Those [D]families looked so functional,
That [C]paisley pill's for [D]me!
But it may cause:
[G]Deprivation
[E7]Humilation
[A7]Debtors' Prison, and
[D7]Deportation
[G]Dark depictions
[E7]Dire predictions
[A7]Life as seen in [D7]Dickens'
fiction
[G]Empty pockets
[G7]Court dockets
[C]May cause eyes to [Cm]pop from sockets
[G]But it's [Em]worth
it
[A7]For the [D7]drugs
I [G]need [Em]
[A7] [D7]
[G]But it's [Em]worth
it
(interrupting, to the tune of "O, Canada!")
[G]In Canada,
They [Am7]get this for a [D7]song!
[G]But it's [Em]worth
it
[A7]For the [D7]drugs
I [G]need [Em]
[A7] [D7]
[G] [Em] [A7]
[D7]
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